Associated Press — Augusta, Georgia — Protesters who had intentions of picketing outside of the Augusta National Golf Club have been put on notice. Richmond County Sheriff Ronnie Strength has said that the sidewalks surrounding the club are too narrow. He claims that due to the number of pedestrians and vendors who will already be present, a large protest would create a dangerous environment.

Associated Press — Augusta, Georgia — Two men were arrested a few days after Christmas while trying to give themselves a most unique gift. They were attempting to sneak onto the infamous track and play a few holes before sunrise. Both men were in the their twenties and appeared to be intoxicated, according to police reports.

Associated Press — Kapalua, Hawaii — Tiger Woods will be absent from the Mercedes Championship this week. Woods will miss this, the first tournament of the 2003 PGA tour, because of recent surgery on his left knee. He is currently rehabilitating.

Associated Press — The Golf Warehouse reported a sales increase of more than 45% over the recent holiday shopping season versus the same period in 2001. The final tally for this merry company was in the $6 million neighborhood.

I am sure we are all going to try to stick to our new year's resolutions. Ahem.

So with that in mind I prepared some advice to take on the course with you that may actually help to keep that waist line in check and keep your mental... fo... cus... um... er... What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, food for the brain and body.

For those with Krispy Kreme stock the following may be tough to read.

You early tee time fanatics are first on the list. Mrs. Lipschitz back in the second grade was right, ya know. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. It kick-starts your metabolism and sends a message to your body about how you will be fueling up for the day. Washing down the Big Grab, habañero-pepper roasted pork rinds with a Jolt cola is, as you might suspect, not the right message.

Try two eggs (cooked any way) and some oatmeal (bowl or bar). Have some all-natural fruit juice (natural sugars) to drink, and stick a banana or an apple in your bag to tide you over until the turn.

For those of you starting to play in the afternoon, avoid a big breakfast early and have a turkey sandwich or bowl of soup for lunch. If you must have a side with your lunch try to steer clear of the chips. Not only do they overload you with saturated fats, it's really tough to get that grease off your fingers and no one wants to accidentally fling their three iron into not so casual water.

Now because we have denied ourselves the big meal so far we are going to be having the tummy grumbles sometime during the round. Resist the Oscar Mayer urge and go for a bag of unsalted roasted peanuts, raisins or old faithful trail-mix. Yeah the nuts and trail-mix have fat, but fat processes slowly and your body will break it down slowly so you can maintain your energy.

Fruits, raw veggies, nuts, grains, etc. It's not like you've never heard this stuff before. Try to stick to it this year for once, and see if it makes a difference. As a matter of fact, why don't you tell me about it? I'll be the one smearing the barbecue sauce off my face with one hand and slurping down the "Heiney" with the other.

Seriously, we want to know about your golf resolutions for this year. Post yours now at www.OffTheFringe.com in the forum and read about mine in the Editor's Corner.

The LPGA just keeps getting kicked in the teeth, doesn't it? Perhaps it's time to launch a protest of the PGA Tour with the intention of drawing some attention to women's play! (Note to Dr. Burke: easy now, I was only kidding.) The National Broadcasting Corporation just lost the Solheim Cup to a network that has only 40 million viewers. Not to mention — and I finish this sentence with all due respect — but who wants to watch the Golf Channel and their incessant selling out of ad space to gimmick club makers and infomercial-Ron Popeil-pocket-fisherman types for eight mind-numbing hours? I sure hope Allen Greenspan doesn't get a hold of this economic foreshadowing. The world's biggest female tournament just found the abyss, and let's hope Annika gets her PGA Tour application in early, lest we lose the current greatest talent in the game.

At Off the Fringe we pride ourselves on being able to cut from the other side of the blade when it comes to reporting the news of golf. However, for obvious reasons the holiday season and the golf silly season did not produce much for us to talk about. With that in mind it was the decision of the OTF brain trust to enlighten our readers with a description of every shot on every hole during every round of golf we played during the holiday season.

(insert snowy static here)

That was educational and fun, wasn't it?

Seriously, though, we are looking forward to sharing the new golf year with every one of our readers.

January starts off with the PGA Golf Show in Orlando. This granddaddy of golf shows has taken a glancing blow by the pull-out of some of the biggest names in the industry from this year's show. This is the major golf buying event, when club pros and store managers make their purchases and stock their shelves for the upcoming season. Can spring be far off?

Like swallows returning to Capistrano, the sight of pro golfers and celebrities playing golf in the southern California desert is an unmistakable sign of the coming of spring. In this case it is for the annual Bob Hope Chrysler Classic, (www.bhcc.com) January 27 through Feb 3. Phil Mickelson will be defending his title. Celebrities including Yogi Berra, Joe Pesci, and Michael Bolton will be on the field with the top names in pro golf supporting this charity event. Over the years, this event has raised $35 million for charity. Bob Hope, a classic man, we love you. Thanks for all the memories...

Happy New Year to all of you and hope to hear from you in the Fringe Forum real soon!